Posts in Grief
Forever Triplets

But Essie continued to fight and survived over 10 episodes of pneumonia during her first year of life. And as she fought, I grew stronger. We fought for Essie, as she couldn’t fight for herself. Hearing ‘no’ constantly is relentless and draining, but ‘no’ wasn’t a word in our vocabulary and it just was never an acceptable answer. We always asked for help as there is no support. There is no understanding. There is loneliness and isolation.

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Hello Madness, Goodbye Joy

His life enabled me to walk with elated joy, then his death left me to walk broken and in pain. The only thing that remained was the same was the love I had for my son. It grew from October 17th, 2001 the day I found out I was pregnant, it burst June 27th, 2002 when I first  held him in my arms, then multiplied October 17th, 2017 the day I heard he had been stabbed, and overflowed October 20th, 2017 the day I held him In my arms as he died.

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Dealing with the death of a loved one during pregnancy.

So when he passed, as you might imagine, it hit that little bit harder. Carrying my daughter made the experience all the more surreal. For a moment I wondered if he had to lose his life for my daughter to have hers and then I thought about my mum and couldn’t begin to comprehend the pain she must have been feeling but I knew it could have killed her if she let it.

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